7/7

Am I going to be someone who writes in this blog every day? Honestly I can't be sure.

It'll probably come in waves. Some weeks i'm just going through the motions, other weeks i'm so lost in my own head space. I need some kind of outlet.

Like this week.

I don't want to talk to anyone at my job. I want to sit, and do what i'm supposed to do, without having to worry about interacting. With anyone. I know that may sound harsh, but sometimes it's really true. I don't want to say that i'm in a continuous bad mood, more like, just.. tired.

This week i've been taking Dyllon to work at midnight every night. Then I get up at 5 and go to work. I work until mid afternoon and then head home. Once i'm home, I workout for almost 2 hours, and honestly, i'm ready for bed. But I can't go to bed, because I have to take Dyllon to work again, at midnight. I am not going to complain, because I want to do things for him. Right now things are a little tough in the transportation department, especially with both of us having commutes. So I'm here to help him. I take the car all day and he needs a ride to work, i'm not going to be one to leave him hanging. I feel bad because I feel like I make him feel bad. Especially when I fall asleep before taking him to work, because he has to wake me up.

So this has been a week of me being exhausted and in a constant daze, along with having so many things go through my mind at once. I honestly just want to sleep.

We've also been doing a CG Prep Training workout every day, and it's wearing me out too but I am sticking to it 100% . It makes me happy to work out and push myself with Dyllon because it's harder for me to to give up with him. The last thing I ever want to do is let him down.

So I plan to channel that energy to push me through everything that I do this week.

This month. This life.

I intend to tell him when I get home today, though, that I'm going to sleep. I am not going to work out today for the greater good of my body.

This has been a whole post of me whining...

But it's how I feel today.

Real I guess.